


Self doubt and other issues

by LynnDenbaum



Series: lynn's messiest GO oneshots in all of history [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fear, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), Food, Idiots in Love, No Smut, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 10:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20207932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynnDenbaum/pseuds/LynnDenbaum
Summary: Azira is very insecure about the difference between her demonic partner and her.Crowley, all perfect, flowing hair and glowing eyes and she?Just a plump wallflower.Of course Crowley is not having any of this.I am currently sitting in the bus on my way through Europe. And I am bored. Guess you can tell.No edit, no beta. We fall like Crowley/Raphael





	Self doubt and other issues

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I felt like writing, because I've seen some /amazing!!!/ Fem!Omens fanart!  
(Sadly I can't seem to find the Tumblr blog, so I can't redirect you there :( )

She was quite tall in her black serpent leather boots, her tight dress stretching nicely over her back and her hips until it flowed out around her knees like a waterfall that lost itself midair, because the ground was too far away for it to reach.

Her long red hair was shining brightly in the late afternoon sun, that also reflected from her black designer sunglasses, blinding people around her.

It was really red. Not ginger or mahagoni brown, but a deep crimson like fresh blood just spilled from the vein, or dark rose petals in the evening. Little reflections of light danced through the strands, almost letting it sparkle. 

Her hips were only ever so slightly curvy, the hip bones still clearly visible on her skinny frame. Her breasts not big, but also not too small. A good handful for people with slightly larger hands.

She was stunningly beautiful.

Azira stared at her like she had never seen a woman before, that much was clear.

And it was nearly embarrassing to be caught staring, but only nearly.

How could she not state after all?

Crowley never ceased to amaze with her changing style throughout the ages.

A talent that skipped right over Azira, as she thought with a slightly sad smile.

The Albino always wore things, that had been "in" like 50 to 80 years ago.

She always seemed to be a bit behind with things. But she had never minded it all that much.

It had given her the ideal position to admire Crowley, start conversations with her and take things slow, without being accused of not "going with the flow". No One expected a girl that looked like a damsel from the 1950ies to keep up with things.

A great relief.

Still. Looking down her own beige coat, that she wore over her light brown long skirt and her white blouse and the finishing touch: a cream coloured ribbon around her neck, she had to admit, that Crowley looked better. 

Always looked better.

She had to admit, that her style was old fashioned, if not plain prude.

Maybe she should try to stay more "up to date", but that would mean going to a mall to actually look at what girls in this century were supposed to wear.

She hated that.

And she would still fail to keep up, she knew that.

"You alright, angel?"

Crowley asked softly, her sweet voice a pleasant melody in Azira's ears.

"I'm only asking, because we are still standing in front of the café, and I really thought, you would want to go inside and order something?"

Yes, they were still standing in front of the small building that Azira had found on her last search for the newest undiscovered culinary pearls of Shoreditch.

She was still staring at their reflexions in the store window. And again: How could she not?

The difference between her and the demoness was clear as day, not like something one could simply ignore. Not like something Azira could just dismiss as unimportant.

"Of course, dear-"

She stopped herself to take a deep breath. Even her speech was outdated. Crowley had mocked her about that multiple times already, so that stood confirmed.

Of course the redhead didn't mean it in a mean way. She just thought a bit of teasing wouldn't hurt, a bit of mockery would be funny. And up till now it always had been.

But something had changed. 

With the world not ended and free of their head offices, Azira allowed herself to think about things, she had blocked out so far.

About Crowley's beautiful hair in the moonlight, spread out on her couch pillows, when they had one of their weekly meet ups with loads of alcohol and deep conversations. About the way her eyes glistened over the dark shade of her sunglasses, the way she moved her delicate lips while talking and her sinful hips, when walking.

About the taste of her lips on Azira's. It wasn't that long since their first kiss and she still had the feeling of  _ Crowley _ positively lingering in her mouth.

And with all these thoughts came the insecurities.

She was nothing compared to this hellishly perfect woman. Just some little wallflower, hiding behind layers of fabric, hiding who she was, who she wanted to be.

Why would the other even want to spent time with her? Be seen with her?

Shouldn't it be embarrassing for Crowley to be seen with such a prude?

"Angel?"

The taller woman seemed concerned, her hands, that had found their way to the angels shoulders trembled slightly with worry.

Was that a thing? Did hands tremble with worry?

"Hey? We don't need to. Look we can just go home, if you like."

"I…"

She stopped again, hiding her soft face in her plump hands.

"Maybe… no. No I'd like to.. go in there."

Anyone who knew the demoness, would agree that Crowley wasn't one for many words. Not for few words either though. In fact she used just the perfect amount of words in a conversation. Saying just enough, without saying too much. Not leaving too much to the imagination, but still keeping up a bit of mystery about her.

But now she didn't use words at all.

Partly, because she didn't know what to say. But also partly, because she wouldn't want the angel to try and talk the self consciousness out of her, were their roles reversed.

She would want her to  _ show  _ her.

Crowley would not watch as her angel felt miserable without doing something about it immediately.

She would not allow anything to spoil Azira's happiness. 

But she wouldn't make a fuzz about it and shower her with praise.

Instead, she took Azira's hand and smiled lovingly.

Softly, gingerly, she pulled the angels arm up to interlock it with her's.

Proudly showing to the world, that they were partners.

Proudly presenting the love of her life, while walking her into the café.

Some people sent them short glances, but mostly looked away again bored, not caring about yet another uneven couple in the diverse city of London.

All gentlewomanly, Crowley slid the chair back for Azira and pushed it back in, when her love took a seat.

The smile slowly returned to the angels face.

"You are very..."  _ kind  _ "wonderful. Thank you Crowley."

Of course the Albino had realized, what her partner was doing, but it seemed to work nonetheless.

The tea was a really good Chinese blend, that the café owner was very surprised to suddenly find in her stock, even though she could have sworn to normally just own very basic yogi tea blends and Azira nurtured it as best as she could.

Crowley watched her nurture it.

And Azira watched Crowley watching her.

They smiled. Love, affection and gentleness bloomed like the red petals of a flower in the afternoon, shining like Crowley's hair in the sun, blossoming like wildflowers, like a bush of wild roses. Like the rose that their love should be.

Gentle, but strong. Oh so strong.

Maybe Azira was prude. Maybe she was old school and outdated. 

Maybe she was an odd wallflower and had plump fingers.

It didn't matter.

Crowley loved her and that was enough.

That was all that mattered.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I am not a native English speaker and need your input to improve my grip on this language.  
Should you find any mistakes/spelling errors or grammatical fatalities, please don't refrain from telling me!!!  
Thank you so much!


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